Go out with yourself!
I went to the movies yesterday all by myself and it was awesome. The main story behind this blog post is that people should rely more on themselves for all entertainment they need in life and stop being so dependent on other people. I know scores of people who just want to hang out with other people all the time, else they are simply bored. Boredom, as Timothy Ferriss puts it, is the opposite of happiness. Find inner happiness by being able to go out with yourself, just like I did yesterday. I go out with myself every day of the week, I go to dine by myself, I go to the stores by myself and then I even fall asleep by myself – sometimes to my dismay. The point I am trying to make is not that you stop having friends and colleagues, but that you enjoy time alone just as much as if you were with your best friends. Success will not follow if you do not get used to being on your own, because reaching the heights of the world means being dependent on no one but yourself, and it is as they say, lonely on the top. I am never bored when I am alone because I have so much to do that I just don’t get bored. I read books, articles, blogs, brainstorm about ideas, I sit in the dark and meditate about my future, watch an occasional film or TV series episode, listen to great classical music etc. There are just many things that you can immerse yourself into that you really cannot get bored these days anymore. Sure, also go out with friends, I do not advise any different. But do differentiate between visiting with your friends with some definite purpose, like doing something together that has meaning, something that you will remember for some time to come. Do not go out and sit in a bar, drink beer and talk nonsense. That won’t do good to no one, not yourself and not to your friends. Also, I advise you let go of any person in your life that just does not fit your style, that has too much of a lack perspective and is basically a energy vampire – beware of these, negative, selfish people. Either help them direct their negative energy into good, positive one or if that does not work then just let them go, stop being their friend. There are not many friends you can rely on anyway, so also know who those real good friends are and who aren’t. Once you come to a point where you can go for a whole week without any need for calling someone to go to dinner with or just tour the town then you are on a good path up. When traversing the world alone posture and presence is very important, you have to show the world who you are and that you are confident in exactly that. Always keep your head high, chest out and chin in – don’t overdo it though. And of course, smile. We’ve grown so static and boring that we just forget to smile, but those who smile a lot and give out positive energy get amazing responses. I am an example of that – I used to not smile as much or just here and there, now I smile pleasantly all of the time and even whistle a lot. Try it out and you will rarely be left alone in a smile when you give on to a total stranger. This is all part of gratitude, give honest and sincere appreciation to a person who has done you a service, say to a bus driver, a waiter, a cashier etc. Just smile say good day to you sir, good night, thank you. Remember, give and you shall receive.
Start right now with feeling more confident in going out with yourself and having a great time:
1. Go out and dine by yourself.
This is great to do, just pick your favourite restaurant and do it. Have a pleasant chit-chat with the waiter, make inquiries about what he suggests and respect his opinion. Manners, of course are key here as well, always be a person of impeccable manners. Yes, even in situations when the waiter is in the wrong or is not friendly to you. To any person really, do your best and be pleasant, because a pleasant personality is the cornerstone of a successful person.
2. Go to the movies by yourself.
Now you’ve done a restaurant or two and are a bit more comfortable doing it all by yourself, maybe even fully. Going to cinema is a tad different experience since there are always groups of people or couples there and you might just feel weird and alone, but that is part of the exercise. Just enjoy it, pick out a good film, some snacks and run with it.
3. Go to an event, seminar.
Pick any event, possibly a business-related one and attend it. Before you go make sure to have business cards available, then you’re set. This might be much harder, because in a restaurant or cinema you do not need to communicate much, if at all. On any event of a business sort your goal is to connect with people and offer them your services. I will write a blog about networking some other time, but in short: ask a lot of questions, do not talk about yourself and give.
All of what has been written is important, at least to my belief. It is because you need to go out of your comfort zone to achieve above average results. People are used to old habits and they are fear-stricken and as such are afraid to experience new things. We need to get out of our comfort zone in order to grow and expand our network.
On another note, my concept is in motion. I have met with a friend of mine who is a sort-of mentor to me – even though he’s just three years older as I am. I will further concretize and define the concept throughout a period of four weeks and then we’ll meet again. I have until March to realize this project to, at least, the alpha stages in which I will engage in micro-testing the whole business. Will keep you informed. Until then, get uncomfy!